8.15.2013

Everything Hurts & I'm Dying

Yesterday was all sorts of fun wrapped into some big present that I probably should have burned instead of opened, ya know what I'm saying? Let me elaborate...

I slept until 11 because I wanted to live the first half of my day completely obliviously. My thought process: "No, Kenz. You're not getting steroid injections today. You're not going to feel like hell and you're not going to cry all your makeup off. Thankyouverymuch."

So I get to the clinic where a new nurse was being trained in. Not nervous, oh no. Girlfriend is qualified and I should let her do her job. Where's the sarcasm font on this thing? I did, though and it was all good at first. Then she was all like, "let me get the doctor." And me? I was like...


Doc comes in the room, brings in another doctor who's training (this is great for my anxiety), explains the procedure, and makes me put on a hospital gown... Toga style. No seriously, he said that. So I did. And that was awkward because my bra straps were sticking out. Meanwhile, my mom is sitting in a chair laughing because she knows how weird I am about stuff like that. Reaaaaaal funny, woman. Let's strip you down!

I lay face down on the table, he pulls over his little cart with all 10 sixteen billion injections on it, and explains how they'll feel like mosquito bites. That sounded promising since Minnesota is infested with them this time of year. Nothing I can't handle.

Surprise, surprise... The doc is a big ole LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FYYYYYYYYA. I have no idea what kind of mosquitoes are biting him, but I would rather slam my head into a brick wall and smash my pinky finger with a hammer before I EVER experience that again.

Oh, and the 10 injections we initially talked about? Turned into 11... Then 12... I stopped counting after 15. Cue the ugly cry.


Then he stops for a hot minute and asks, "how are you holding up?" "DUDE, I'm fine! These mosquito bites are exhilarating!" Just kidding.



The entire procedure took around a half hour and then he wanted to run some blood tests to check my inflammation levels. I figured it couldn't get much worse and agreed to go ahead with it.

The nurse I mentioned in the beginning of this rambling mess comes back in, looks for a vein for 10 minutes, and right as she's about to poke me says... "Ya know, I'm not sure I can get a vein. Let me get the doctor."



The doctor comes waltzing back in and starts tapping around on my measly little arm. He pokes once, but nothing comes spurting out. He grabs an ultrasound machine. WHAT? I didn't even know that was a thing. He pokes me twice more and gets the vein, but no blood. At this point?


After 20 minutes more of playing "how fast can we make Kenzie drop like a fly," we figure I'm probably dehydrated and we find out my blood pressure has dropped significantly since the beginning of the appointment. Wicked sweet.

Right before we left, he put his arms in the air and told me to punch him in the gut. I laughed so hard I snorted and the snot nose I'd developed from crying totally splattered at him. I'm not even sorry.


We gave up on the blood draw and now I have to report back on Friday. YEAAAAH buddy.

I made it home fine and my mom let me get Chipotle, so I was a happy camper. Collapsing on the couch and changing into a stretched out sports bra never, ever, EVER felt so good in my life. I took a peek at the damage, too, so that was fun. Itty bitty bruises mosquito bites, anyone?!


Then I whimpered all night, made my little brother play servant, chugged water, and watched Camp Rock while writing this blog post and trying to find the bright side of the day. Yeah, I don't even know.

Here's to a new day that's going to be a bazillion times better than yesterday... Even if it sucks!

35 comments:

amber.m said...

HUGS!!! oh my goodness, I'd have died!! :(

Pamela said...

OH MY GOSH! How crazy!!! I would've flipped out on them prob, ha! Bless your heart! You are such a tough girl!

Jaylyn Bond said...

Awh i am so sorry you had to go through that! NO FUN at all :( .. but your gifs throughout the post were on point!! Hope you're feeling better soon ♥

Samm_AnaMarie said...

XOXO! I am so sorry you had to go through that. NOT FUN. I am happy that you are getting things figured out and that there will a wonderful outcome after it all. Love your gifs.. you kept me smiling and I hope they did that to you, too!

Mason's Mama said...

Oh my goodness!! They put you through the ringer yesterday. I am so sorry you had to endure that. But praying there is a silver lining and that the injections help!

Big hugs!

Amy said...

:::HUGS!!!!:::
Girl, you are a warrior!
You even are able to keep some awesome sarcastic humor during the process!

Lauren said...

Awwww! You poor thing! That sounds like a truly hellish day. I'm horrible about having my blood taken, so after being a pin cushion for thirty minutes, I probably would have gut punched someone!

Lauren
Fizz and Frosting

Kelly said...

You poor girl! I hope today is a million times better!

Robin M said...

You are so pretty!!! Sorry your doctor visit was just poop!! I've had a few that were annoying before, because no one knows how to find my veins. They love to dig when it's not even necessary. I think if they don't think they can do it in the first place, get someone who can, not another person who can't. Very simple.

Lizzy @ Lizzy's Luggage said...

I hope your day has gotten better! :( If anything, I LOVE CAMP ROCK! Disney movies are always able to make the day better! Thinking of you :D

xoxo, Lizzy

Missydallas. Com said...

Hope you feel better soon! You're so strong and beautiful and God is good! Everything will pass soon!

Megan R. said...

Sarcasm font? Um, yes. Needs to be invented! I hope you feel better today. <3

Suzzie Vehrs said...

so not fun! when I had a bunch of crappy medical stuff I would always say "well I could be dead right now" which was true. but not as comforting as I would want it to be. lol. this will be over and in the past soon! and then you can make jokes about it later. and if it's not soon, it will still be over sometime and you will get through it. many prayers and much love going your way.

Jen said...

Hugs you are so amazingly strong my sweet friend. Always praying for you

katie_shannon said...

Oh girl that is terrible, but your goofiness coming out in this situation just shows how wonderful your heart is!

Kayla Peveler said...

Dang girl! You're a freaking trooper. Chipotle fixes EVERYTHING :)

Rachel Lynne said...

Oh honey, OUCH. OOOOOOOOOOOUCH! Why not just tell you how it is?! THOSE LOOK PAINFUL :( I'm so sorry! But I couldn't help but laugh out loud during this post! It's amazing that you can have a sense of humor after going through all of this. People like you are awesome :) Hope you are feeling better soon!

Hannah T said...

Camp Rock...GOOD CHOICE. I was mildly obssessed with the Jonas Brothers in high school.

I hope you have been feeling better today!

Katie said...

I... had no idea that put steroid shots into the upper part of your BACK. Color me completely shocked and wow. I would not handle that nearly as well as you have. I would have been coming up with whole new languages to swear in. Not even languages I KNOW. I would spontaneously learn to swear in Russian just at that moment.

Here's to crossing our fingers that you feel like a crazy-energetic Amazon woman in the next few days! And that you bruises go away fast!

Jennifer said...

I love that you didn't lose your sense of humor! :) Love to you, girl! You know I'm praying!!

xo!

Breanna Hohenstein said...

That sounds awful and I'm sorry you're having to go through this! Sending positive thoughts your way :)

Mandy Ford said...

Oh you poor thing. :( You are blessed with an amazing sense of humor and that truly will help you get through times like this. BIg hugs and I hope you feel better soon!

Nikki said...

So sorry honey! you're a trooper!

Life with Amberly said...

Ah man girl! I am so sorry!!!! I hope you feel better soon!!!!! Love you!!!!

Housel said...

When you are pregnant they make get your blood drawn like a bajillion times, and you get all these tests, and everything is awkward. I absolutely hate all the sticking and poking. Your experience though would send me in fetal position. You are tough! Hope you feel better:(

Mommy Mandy said...

You poor thing!! Hope you're feeling a bit better today!

Jodi said...

That sucks. Hope you are feeling much better soon!

[darci @ the good life] said...

If I could, I'd drop by with Chipotle for lunch tomorrow.... because clearly, Chipotle is always the answer! ;)

Sending lots of love your way this evening, sweet girl!

HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING.

Annie said...

oh my gosh! bless your heart. that sounds awful! and yet you've retained your sense of humor, so i'm impressed! i loved the GIFs sprinkled throughout your post; so appropriate!

Paige Nicole said...

I hope you're feeling better!!!

I wanna say thought, a new nurse is probably a LOT more cautious that you may have given her credit for. I know that even when I know a procedure, if I can tell the patient is nervous, I'd rather get someone with more experience than risk hurting the patient or making it worse for them.

faith yates said...

oh sweet girl what a day! whatever god brings you to, he will carry you through. i am amazed and so blessed by your sense of humor in and through it all- finding the joy in the difficult circumstances. you are a rockstar!

Amanda said...

I like how this was just such an honest post. And if I could remember a thing that's how my post would've sounded like 3 years ago of something similar.

You are brave. And I support you. I hope these help. And go ahead and cry because sometimes it really does stink. Life. <3

Beth K. said...

oh goodness, honey! I'm a needle-phobe so I admittedly skimmed past the scary parts (you had me dizzy at "mosquito bits"), but I cannot imagine how hard scary and painful all of that was. you are so strong! I hope it brought you some relief, though.

Kate Mitchell said...

TRAINING DOCTORS/NURSES ARE MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

Whenever I get cortisone injections (I've had 6), they try to convince me that it won't hurt much because they'll numb the joint. Well after the first 2, I started needing valium so that I wouldn't have anxiety attacks about them.

SO sorry you had to go through that!

Kate

Meghan said...

I so need to invent the sarcasm font, because I think it would make me some good money :)

In all seriousness though, I would have probably curled up in a ball and died.

& I would have definitely suckerpunched the doc. But that's just me.