Today is a big day of reflection for me! Looking back on the past year, I am blown away completely. I remember just where I was and what I was doing last year on New Years Eve...
Babysitting... Feeding the sweet baby girl I nannied this summer a bottle. I mean, that's hard enough to believe all on its own! I can't believe that little angel was that that little. And just a year later... She's two years old and has a completely new and evident personality. She's hilarious and her vocabulary blows me away... I just can't believe it's gone so fast!
In August 2011, I was diagnosed with arthritis. In December 2011 - January 2012, I made it through my first 4 week round of PT. In October - December 2012, I made it through yet another round of PT - this time 6 weeks.
It's crazy how it all runs together and creates years and ultimately, our lives.
Today, though, I want to just look at this year as a whole and share 6 things that I've learned through those moments. 6 isn't a special number for any reason, I was just able to incorporate what I want to share into 6 lessons. ;) I want to reflect and continue to grow as a person because of them. More than anything, this post is a letter to myself. Things that I need to be reminded of as I continue to navigate through life.
1.) Let. It. Go. There are some things that you just cannot control, Kenz. There are some things are beyond your power. There are days when you simply cannot put any more on your plate. And guess what? That's completely normal. That's OKAY. Tell yourself that. And then, when you lay down to sleep at night... Close your eyes. Clear your heart. Let. It. Go.
2.) Don't wait around for boys who can't commit to you. If they don't deem you "worth it" now, they don't deserve you - now OR later. Don't waste tears, thoughts, or heartache over situations that those foolish boys cause. Wait for a guy who respects you for you and loves you just the same. Know that a movie night with your best girlfriends is so much more productive than having the cutest boy in school take you out to a movie... Because you're building memories rather than attachments that will hurt you later.
3.) Stop making so many dang plans. Learn to enjoy the adventure that life is occasionally. Be spontaneous. Be a little crazy. You know that God will have His will anyway, so don't waste your energy and time making your own plans. It's not worth it and it will never work out exactly the way you want it to. But I promise, you'll still be more than blessed in the end.
4.) Laugh when you feel like crying. Even if it's fake laughter, just do it... Because stupid, pointless, fake laughter WILL turn into real laughter; that real laughter will be become tearful laughter and in the end, you'll feel a heck of a lot better.
5.) Take your meds, do your treatment, and take care of your PT and OT. Again, just do it. You know it's good for you. You know it makes you feel accomplished afterwards. And hey, your physical therapist and the rest of the team is PROUD OF YOU everyday - no matter what. Let that be a motivation and a testimony to how much they love and care about you.
6.) Love on everybody and anybody. Cherish the moments you have with them... Everyone is a gift. People come into our lives as blessings and as lessons... Both are essential.
"This year I made it through 10 weeks of PT, 24 weeks of OT, an MRI, 4 sets of x-rays, 10 trillion medication changes, tons of appointments with specialists I've never even heard of, and so much more! And guess what? God blessed me through it all! I'm not saying that I didn’t have any sad moments, didn’t shed any tears, wasn’t hurt, discouraged or disappointed at some point... I'm saying that God PROVIDED me with ALL of my necessities, granted me a few desires of my heart, and allowed me to wake up this morning! I've formed relationships with true best friends, have another job that I adore, and I have 10 of my FAVORITE kiddos coming over to spend the night tonight! I am beyond grateful for all that I have and all that I am. I can't imagine feeling anymore "blessed," but I know that God loves surprises. :) Bring it on 2013!