I've been meaning to publish this post for a long time because it's been on my heart since mid-July... I've just never felt like God wanted me to publish it. Until this week.
Last Saturday was a really busy day for me. I babysat three different times for three different families and LOVED every second of it, but I literally only sat down for two minutes. Maybe two. It was probably closer to one. The whole day, the word forgiveness was on my heart, and as I was driving home, I heard this song on the radio:
It’s the hardest thing to give away And the last thing on your mind today It always goes to those that don’t deserve It’s the opposite of how you feel When the pain they caused is just too real It takes everything you have just to say the word… Forgiveness. Show me how to love the unlovable Show me how to reach the unreachable Help me now to do the impossible Forgiveness. I want to finally set it free So show me how to see what Your mercy sees Help me now to give what You gave to me... Forgiveness.
Those are just some of the lyrics...but I'm sure some of you have heard it and you get the point! It's a deep song and it explains a current situation in my life perfectly...coincidence or God tugging at my heart?
I won't go into details, but some of the things that have happened the past year have given me a bitter, bitter attitude. Not in general, just towards certain people. Today, however, I'm declaring that I am letting go. I'm not going to be the girl who walks through life holding grudges, maintaining a cold heart, and treating people who have wronged me unkindly.
I'm not going to be that girl.
In fact, what I'm REALLY declaring today is that I'm going to be the girl God has destined me to be. I wanna be that girl more than anything... And I will be. But first, I have some cleaning to do...in terms of my heart, that is.
As for a verse I'm holding onto?
Matthew 18:18~ "I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden to you in Heaven, and whatever you permit will be permitted in Heaven."
I'm a sinner saved by His mighty grace. That's amazing. I am so beyond grateful for that. It's not easy to forgive...but we can do it. God will help us, strengthen us, and love us through the process, even if it's messy...and in the end, that's how we'll gain forgiveness from Him in Heaven.
"Forgive, and you will be forgiven."