Understanding

A few months ago, I posted about applying to a PSEO program at Bethel Univeristy here. It really no secret that it's been on my heart... I've been vlogging about it, Instagram'ing about it... You name it, I've shared it. ;)

Last Wednesday, I received a letter from them. I knew that it would either be an acceptance or rejection, and after praying through things for MONTHS, I felt prepared to receive that answer...

When I grabbed the letter off the counter at home and found a quiet spot outside to open it... Suddenly all those months of praying, praying, praying seemed not to matter. It was just that moment. I was scared. And I had little faith.

Because I felt that way, I dropped the letter in the grass, closed my eyes, and started to pray. All I asked for in that moment was God's will and my ability to understand it. I didn't ask for my way. I didn't ask for an acceptance letter.

I just wanted HIS way. 

Only then did I feel it was right to open the letter... And when I did, I was blown away...

The letter said that I've been put on the waiting list. Basically, I'm not accepted OR rejected yet. I think that's so funny... Because EVERYTHING in my life lately has been all about patience lately. God knows that, and He's teaching me so much about that virtue.

I won't find out until mid-June what my future looks like, but honestly, I'm at peace with this situation for now. I know that God has called me to and promised a future at Bethel... He just didn't tell me WHEN that would be. It may not be next year or the year after... But He will fulfill those promises.

And through the tough seasons of practicing PATIENCE... God will give me faith. Understanding. Joy.

He will give me all that I need. He will make ALL things work together for my good.

His will, not my way.

Prommity Prom Prom '13

This post was supposed to be written and published last week, but because between final projects and getting caught up on sleep, I totally didn't make time for it! Happy to say that things have calmed down around here, though, and I can finally get back to sharing my heart here. :) Lots of good things scheduled this week!

Anyway, prom was last Saturday (May 11th) and I had the best time... On the Thursday night before, I decided to go for a 2 1/2 mile run because I was feeling pretty well except for the flare up I was in. I wanted to get one last workout in before prom and I'd been so busy that I hadn't run in almost a week. So, I went for it. And when I got home, my knees, ankles, and shins swelled up... My arthritis was in all of its glory. I cried a lot that night because I thought it meant I'd be miserable for prom, but God worked  an amazing, amazing miracle in my life and body because I woke up Saturday morning feeling better than ever! God knows how much I love to dance and I KNOW that He knew I just needed to be "Kenzie" for a night... Not "Kenzie with arthritis."

(DISCLAIMER: Prepare for a complete photo dump!)

I got my hair done by my incredible hair stylist Saturday morning. It was amazing to say the least... I LOVED how blonde it looked and how full it was. 

My bestie Amelia did my makeup afterwards (picture below, could NOT live without her...) and I basically got the rest of me ready in 10 minutes! Crazy how fast that day flew!

My date was a good guy friend. You can read about how he asked me here. He's super thoughtful and we had so much fun together! Plus, he cleans up pretty gooooooood. ;)

Obviously, we took loads of pictures before going anywhere...

Then we met up with friends for more pictures! Of course!

Then we did all the prom stuff... Went out for dinner, hung out, took more pictures... etc. etc.! :)

My school does something called grand march where you and your date get introduced and all the parents/families come watch!

After grand march, more pictures...

And then the dance started! You tell me who was having the most fun... ;) HA!

Afterwards, we went to a friends for a bonfire. It was great to just hang out and enjoy the gorgeous weather. :) I can't believe it's all over! So crazy how fast everything flew.

I went to bed that night with the biggest smile on my face. I'm so thankful that God gave me a day to be KENZIE in all of her glory. I danced my assets off, laughed way too much, and only took 2 pain pills along with my daily steroid. That's an AMAZING miracle. Juvenile arthritis had NO hold over me that night...

I'm.So.Blessed.

My Birthday Story

We all have a blogger we stalk. By the minute, hour, ya know, whatever works. That blogger for me is Mizzzzzz Holly. She's pretty much my homegirl even though she doesn't know it yet. No shame.

So, because she's growing another year older wiser and HOTTER, her and a few of her ACTUAL homegirls are hosting a pretty cool birthday link up. 

I'm obsessed with birthday's. Always have been, always will be. I just love that everyone has a day to celebrate themselves!

I'd love to be all awesome-sauce today and share some amazing joyful story, but I'm here to write what's on my heart - so instead, I'm sharing my most memorable birthday.

I had just officially turned 10 that morning. When I was younger, my parents always let us open our gifts the evening before. I'd received some sweet new PJ's and a horse for my American Girl doll. That same year, I'd gotten a REAL horse for my birthday too. Talk about blessed. :) 

I had my first dance recital afterschool and I was wearing a new green skort my mom had gotten me. My mom, sisters, and brother were all there to watch me perform. My daddy-o was still at work.

After the recital was over, I was hanging out in my teacher's room. My siblings were in the car and my mom was in there a long with me. After saying our "good night's," my mom and I went to get into the car. She told me she had made my chocolate cake and it was waiting in the fridge to eat after I decided what I wanted for dinner.

When we got in the car, my older sister told my mom an unknown number had called her repeatedly. My mom thought nothing of it, but when they called again, she picked up. She immediately started crying, hung up, and told us that our house was on fire according to our neighbor and daddy was over at their house.

I started sobbing. Obviously, it was my birthday and all I wanted was a piece of cake and time to play with my new toys that were waiting in the living room. When we drove up, of course, our house was in flames.

I remember screaming, "I WANT MY BLANKY" over and over again. I don't think I really cared about that old rag, it was just simply the fact that I realized in that moment, watching my house burn, that anything familiar was being taken from my family.

We were whisked off pretty quickly by an aunt and uncle of ours, thank God. When we got to their house, my cousins brought in a new cake for me and we had a mini celebration after we got showered and into some new PJ's.

I went to sleep that night so incredibly scared. I literally remember staring at the wall and wondering what on earth could be next. I really didn't comprehend a thing.

Our community poured into our lives more than I could ever imagine during this time. We received so many wonderful donations that made our lives work for the time being. We were all alive. We were together.

As cliche as it sounds, I learned what matters most that day. It's not the presents, the cake, or the fact that the day is all about you... Instead, it's about who you have to share it with and ultimately, the fact that you get to close your eyes with a grateful heart at the end of the day.

To this day, I am so thankful that my family is still together. The following months were hard, but in hindsight - the whole situation is truly one of God's most beautiful miracles. He is truly with us every step.

We may have lost everything material that day, but because we had faith and each other God was able to give us a more beautiful home, family, and outlook on life than we ever could have imagined before.

Blessed has got to be the biggest understatement I can come up with... :)

* * *

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISSY, LINDSEY, & HOLLY!

This Is God's Story Through Me

From day one, God set the desire in my heart to share. Whether it be my time, my heart, or my story, I want to be sure I'm doing just that... Every second of every day. And, I want to do it solely because God has asked me to.

My selfish, human desires would LOVE to title this post, "My Story." But, because I never had to face a single moment of this journey alone, I cannot.

This is God's story through me.

God truly deserves all the glory for bringing me this far... He has given me the strength to not only battle my arthritis, but also to pass six kidney stones, overcome various sight/hearing limitations and ultimately... He gave me the strength to get out of bed this morning and SMILE! :) I am beyond blessed and pray every single night that Jesus would be praised because of my journey. God has promised me healing, it's on its way, and while I'm waiting, I will continue to praise Him for all that He's done and will continue to do through me. :)

James 1:2-3 says... "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has the chance to grow."