January 14, 2014

Loving When It Matters Most

Someone close to me made a few less than desirable decisions that affected our relationship lately. Naturally, two choices immediately appeared in my head: walk away or fight to keep the person that I loved. Very quickly, I realized the importance of that person in my life and knew that I would do whatever it took to offer the most mercy and grace possibleWhile there are way too many reasons to list, it all comes down the the fact that I love them so much. To me, 'I love you,' is never, ever, EVER circumstantial. If I can say those three words on a good day, I want to be 110% sure that I can say the same even on a bad one. Being hurt is one thing, but being circumstantial is another.

While dealing with these hurt feelings, I consulted two of my closest friends. One friend offered some wise words and re-instilled in me that forgiveness was essential in whichever decision I made. Another friend thought that it would be best to cut my losses to avoid being hurt again in the future. Both of them made some really good points as my best friends and I am forever appreciative - but I had to wonder and ask...

Do you have someone in your life that has NEVER hurt you? If so, I'd like to know how strong your relationship is.

I can honestly say I don't have a single person in my life that has not hurt, offended, worried, or disappointed me at one time in our relationship. In fact, I can also say I don't have a single person in my life that I haven't hurt or let down in one way or another. My health has taught me that trials, challenges, and tough times have a way of making us stronger and drawing us closer. Together. To God. To peace. To strength. Whatever it may be. Fighting even when it hurts and is really, really hard is essential. The fact of the matter is that hurt is not the problem... Giving up on unconditional love is.

Now, the world teaches us to love conditionally, circumstantially, and when it is most convenient. It teaches us that love doesn't have flaws, it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't involve sacrificing any parts of ourselves to meet the other person where they are. But JESUS teaches us that loving unconditionallywildly, and mercifully is the only way to do it. He understands the importance of loving us at our very ugliest and absolute worst because THAT is when we need the grace that only love can offer. He teaches us that love is ALWAYS a sacrifice.

The world says to walk away from people who hurt us. It says to get rid of people who don't appreciate us... But I have to wonder... If Jesus did that, where would we be?

I'm making the choice to LOVE today. Not when it's convenient. Not when I feel like it. Not when it's easy. Instead, I'm making the choice to love when it hurts... Because that's when it matters most.

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12 comments:

Kara said...

I've been dealing with one of the same struggles lately. I've always been the type of person to hold grudges, never forgive, and I just kinda sat down last week and realized what a problem it was. I've lost so many friends through it, and just feel silly. I love the way you phrased that last paragraph. Definitely saving this post for later!

katielookingforward.com said...

I have no idea what the situation is for you...but here's what I do in a situation with one of my friends who is ALWAYS late. Like 30 minutes - 90 minutes late. I've stopped riding places with her. I don't make plans that are time sensitive. It stinks, but I just can't trust her to be on time, and I hate being late to places. So I tell her I'll meet her there! Its simplistic, and maybe not helpful for you....But the point is. Some people will just be late, instead of being constantly disappointed when they're late AGAIN. You just make plans so that you can operate the way you like, and she can operate the way she likes. Eventually you'll meet up and have a good time. Oh, and the plus side of her being late? She just keeps talking at the end of conversation. She wants to catch up and listen to how you are, she cares so much about the right here right now that sometimes the future gets a little blurry. So there can be an upside. Do what feels best for you.

Amanda aka Manda said...

You have such an amazing outlook on this! I have a friend that I've never fought with, but I'm sure that there have been times over the last 20+ years that we've worried each other or let each other down (all be it unintentionally most of the time). We are asked to love like Jesus and it sounds like you are doing just that! Hugs girl!

Jamie Vespa said...

As always, I am in absolute awe of how wise you are about things like this. Everyone hurts the people they love at some point. We say something that hurts them, we disappoint them. But you work through it, your relationship with the becomes stronger and you forgive them because you love them and there's no other choice.

Charlene Maugeri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charlene Maugeri said...

Kenzie, this is beautiful. As usual. Jesus loves us unconditionally and we are called to do the same for others. I hear this in Christian marriages all the time, but the truth is that it shouldn't be only to our spouse or even our best friend. Jesus loved everyone. Thanks for the reminder, sweet girl! I hope you can make amends with the friend who hurt you. Praying for you!

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

No one is perfect... we're all going to hurt someone at some point in our life. It's the people who do it on purpose or repeatedly that need the boot from our lives!

Angela said...

I just was reading about this topic in my devotions! Agape love does not love simply when it is convenient or when we feel like it, but because it is what God has commanded. Only Christ can give us strength to do display this kind of love.

Lisa @ Two Martinis said...

Beautiful post! While I do agree that we are commanded to love everyone, I also think that it's healthy to have boundaries with certain people so that we aren't wasting our time and energy on things and people that do not help us grow or bring us joy. I loved this post... thanks for making me think!

Paige Nicole said...

thanks for posting about this! I've been dealing with the same struggle when it comes to a friend of mine. :(

Emma Joy said...

Hi Kenz!

Loved this post! So great you realize this and can share such insight with others.

http://www.babypinkroses.blogspot.com/

♥ Emma Joy

Christina Schergen said...

good post. glad you learned this lesson young.