When I Choose Him

I've been happy on the outside lately. Smiley and giggly. Wild and a little reckless. It's fun to live life that way.

On the inside, though, I've just been desperately tying to take the high road. Can I just admit something? I'm a grudge holder. It's a weakness I pray through every.single.day.

When people aren't supportive of me, it's hard to take the high road.
When I hear something I don't want to hear, it's hard for me to take the high road.
When things don't go the way I want them to, it's hard for me to take the high road.

I didn't realize until the other day that the reason it's so hard for me to take that darn road is because I  continually put the pressure on myself to find and follow it. I forget that no part of me is the high road.

Jesus is the high road.

So, I run to Him. With my doubt, my failures, my bad attitude, and my weaknesses. I run to Him with my hurt, my insecurities, and the places I fall short. In my brokenness, He leads me to the high road. He leads me to His heart, He reminds me of my worth, and He whispers, "I AM the high road."

It makes me feel better... Knowing that, I mean. Knowing that my brokenness can't leave me shattered, my sin can't leave me evil, and the chains of this world can't hold me captive when I choose Him.

When I choose Him, I choose assurance. I am given oodles of grace. I receive mercy that I don't deserve. When I choose Him, I am changed and I am blessed. When I choose Him, no matter how ridiculous my behavior has been, I am forgiven. I am cherished. I am loved.

When I choose Him instead of bitterness, I am choosing the high road.

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Amanda aka Manda said...

So beautifully written and so true! I struggle with grudges too. I pray through them daily as well. Thank you for sharing and showing we are not alone!

The Pink Growl said...

I used to be the world's worst grudge holder. We did a series at my church back a few months about called the F-bomb about forgiveness, and it helped me SO much. Now I pray for the people that I want to hold grudges against, because I don't want them to have that power over me. I love that you said Jesus is the high road!

Bailey @ Becoming Bailey said...

Thanks for sharing! I used to be horrible at holding grudges against people... Sometimes I still hold grudges if I'm not focused on God. But, I can feel Him changing my heart!

Brittany said...

I am a grudge holder too and I have a friend that never lets me forget it. Sometimes I wish that she would move on from it so that I can too but she always brings it up saying how I never forget anything. Hard to overcome it when someone is telling you that is who you are. And I have been working on it and just not getting upset in the first place.

Helene in Between said...

i hold grudges too. this is something i have always struggled with and not sure how to break it!

Meghan said...

We talked about this at church this weekend too, my stepmom gave me a good piece of advice when I wanted to hold a grudge against my dad over a stupid comment he made, she told me, Meghan, you get to choose if you forgive Dad or not, and you not forgiving him won't eat away at him, because he has done his part, he's asked for forgiveness, the only one you're hurting is yourself.

Amber Thomas said...

Oh honey you are preaching to the choir.

I'm a grudge holder too. But once heard someone say, forgiveness isn't about forgetting, it's about relinquishing the right to revenge and allowing God to have His way in those situations. Something about that freed me from holding the grudges I so lovingly carry around with me… This works for the most part, though there's a few I just can't seem to let be. :)

The Lady Okie said...

Lovely words, friend. I too have trouble with the high road. Thank goodness for grace!

Whit said...

I just wrote about this today - kindred posters! I need to take the high road more frequently and learn to let go. Great post. { Raspy Wit }

Courtenay Coleman said...

Such a good reminder to start the week off with- thank you for that. Happy Monday! - Court | lovecourtxoxo.com

Mrs C said...

Leather vest is one piece that I would like to add to my wardrobe this fall/winter.. yours looks so Rick Owen!


Robyn Phillips said...

I have only just discovered you and your blog this morning. I can honestly say you are wise beyond your years and incredibly inspiring young lady. I wish I just had a little of your gift. I look forward to reading more soon.