9.24.2013

...And I Have Autoimmune Arthritis

This weekend, I filled out a bunch of job applications after working a 26 hour shift at a job I absolutely adore. I'm applying to different jobs because I simply cannot handle the lifting and physical strength that my current job requires... Because of my autoimmune arthritis.

I work in an assisted living home for young adults with disabilities. I'm attached to the clients. My coworkers are more like sisters to me. I don't want to leave. I don't want to move on. The bottom line is: even though I'm always saying how I don't LET my arthritis define me, at the end of the day, it has inevitably changed every aspect of my life... And it has done so without my approval. The only reason I see this uncontrollable disease as a blessing is because I've learned to control my attitude. I know that's possible, and in turn, it gives me a purpose. However, it's still a daily burden that Jesus has asked me to carry.

It's been a really, really hard transition into even throwing around the idea of a new job. I'm not someone who is fond of change, but after praying myself through it, I'm learning to accept that there might be another place I'm being called to. Another place that would be a better fit for the season of life I'm in right now.

The biggest struggle for me, though, is simply reminding myself that I'm still Kenzie... And I have autoimmune arthritis.


I'm strong, determined, and driven... And I have autoimmune arthritis.

I'm energetic, light-hearted, and lively... And I have autoimmune arthritis.

I'm a teenage girl and I can do fun things with my friends... And I have autoimmune arthritis.


Some morning's, I literally have to give myself a peptalk that reminds me of that fact. As long as I keep "...And I have autoimmune arthritis." as an AND while seeing it as a purpose, my life is going to be filled with a lot of really positive, purposeful things... Even if I'm unsure of what those things are in this moment. Because ultimately? My circumstances come down to one thing...

I have Jesus... And I have autoimmune arthritis.

{ALL photo credit to Jen Lessinger Photography}

God's working, changing, and molding everything into perfection. Trusting Him to provide as He ALWAYS does.

11 comments:

Amanda aka Manda said...

This is why you inspire me every day! It's like you took parts of this post right outta my head! Some people don't know and don't fully understand what it's like to have an autoimmune disorder, but you do an excellent job showing that it doesn't have to define you! Your heart and soul are so beautiful friend! So beautiful!

Stephanie said...

First of all, these photos are great and you are gorgeous!

Secondly, I wish you luck in your new journey and wish so badly you didn't have to leave your job!

Hallie Harris said...

You look so gorgeous, and your heart is seriously pure gold.
I am so dang lucky to have found you in this big blog world. You give me so much strength in everyday life, I love you and I know everything will work out just perfectly for you because, nobody deserves it more!

Rachel said...

My dad has RA and seeing him struggle every day breaks my heart. I am sending tons of love ur way lady!

Charlene Maugeri said...

Kenzie, this comment is going to sound like all my other comments, but you are such an inspiration. I am so impressed with your attitude about your disease. You are a remarkable young lady. Most people your age would handle the situation you have been dealt in a much different and negative way. But not you! I admire that! Keep being an encouragement to all your readers.

Melanie said...

such a great post - you are an amazing young woman.

and a random sidenote... thought your photos were gorgeous and realized i KNOW your photographer! or rather i've worked with her before in a past life. so ironic!

Rebecca Jo said...

Attitude is everything... especially in the things we have to carry in life.

Katie said...

Yes. It's "I am Kenzie AND I have arthritis" and never "I am Kenzie BUT I have arthritis". You have the best possible attitude. Hopefully your job search is quick, easy, and lands you something a little less rough on your joints but still fun and worthwhile!

Best of luck!

Savanna said...

You have an amazing attitude

Allie @ The Gypsy Teacher said...

Change is always hard. But I know from experience that God takes us from glory to glory, and though the door may be closing on this job, HE sees the full picture, and knows exactly where you're supposed to be next!
Also, your pictures are spectacular! You are beautiful!

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