Being Reminded And RENEWED

This time each year is always super special to me and God never fails to put my life into perspective right around this time...

In February, two years ago, I was officially "saved" at a girls retreat and though I've failed more times than I would care to admit since then, God has never stopped rocking my world from that day forward.

It didn't take time for Him to show up; it only took time for me to acknowledge and come to know Him. To let Him into my life.

I can remember the exact dark, hopeless person I was two years ago. I was about three months into my health struggles, misdiagnosed with the old go-to "clinical depression," and on a medication that hurt my body more than it helped it.

I remember walking into service at the retreat on that Friday night and not caring. I remember joking around with the girls I was with and being confused at the girls who were raising their hands worshipping.

The following Saturday, when a lady (not much older than I am) shared her testimony about her lifelong fight with a chronic condition, I started to sob. I remember walking up to her and telling her that even though we didn't have the same disease, I felt what she was going through and I understood.

I remember her hugging me.

 I remember the exact words she prayed over me.

I remember the verse she first told me to look up... Jeremiah 29:11. {"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you and future and a hope."}

From that day forward, I have been blessed with more than I could ever deserve. The youth group I found that day fits me... The friends/mentors I've met there keep me going... I've become a bold, reckless, extraordinary woman of God...

I could go on and on.

Last year, I was nominated to be apart of the fashion show they put on at the retreat each year. Even though it was something completely out of my comfort zone, I agreed. And because of that, I watched God bless me in a zillion ways {YET AGAIN} - because through that fashion show, I met my best friend Elissa.

{Picture from August 2011}

Even though she now lives in Moldova {which is in Europe}, her heart for the Lord blesses me daily and our friendship continues to grow.

The fashion show gave a sense of boldness that can come from no one else but God... And honestly, that boldness makes me who I am today. Without it, I would not be "Kenz."

God has changed my life, my heart, and my all the past two years.

There has always been something "about" this retreat. This week specifically, I haven't been able to get it off of my heart because I KNOW how powerful it can be and I cannot even begin to imagine how many more girls God will fill, renew, and BLESS because of their faithfulness.

Tonight, another retreat begins. Girls lives will be changed forever and God will be present in that place. My heart, once again, will be RENEWED and refreshed. I will once again be reminded why I made the decision to live for Him two years ago, and I will be reminded of just how much He's brought me through in that time...

... multiple misdiagnoses.

... 6 kidney stones.

... insomnia.

... restless leg syndrome.

... the loss of my Grandpa's.

... the loss of an Aunt I was truly close with.

... the changing of multiple friendships.

... The list goes on and the answer is always the same...

HE sees me through.

Currently, He's walking with me and fighting my battle with juvenile arthritis on the days I absolutely cannot... Even on the days I CAN, He doesn't leave my side.

I'm excited to watch lives be transformed this weekend and I'm beyond honored to get to play a role of leadership in such an amazing, life-changing retreat.

God... Take it away... Rock this weekend for these girls and their hearts. Lead us to You... Show us Your mercy...